Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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