She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
