Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Randomize
