cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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