I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
