My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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