I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
