When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
