Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
