i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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