god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
