Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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