sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
