We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Everyone says I win the strip club
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
