I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
