I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
