So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
