i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Randomize
