Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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