So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
