im gay
i know
yea but for you.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
