so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
