I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
