It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I'm sobbing to NWA
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
