I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
