is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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