Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Randomize
