just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
