ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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