I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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