have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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