I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
