Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I did not marry a roomba.
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