Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize