She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
