he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
