Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
