Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
