idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
