dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Sorry about my life...
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
