What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Dick very happy bro
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
