Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
