No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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