I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
