My brain says no but my pants say off.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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