Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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