your room smells of hookers.
And success
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Randomize
