Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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