My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
