I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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