I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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