I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
