Sry I called you an 8
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
