Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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