can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
love makes seman taste better
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
