This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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