The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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